Being transgender is not something that is easily influenced.
It's not because of the toys you were given as a child, you already know if they're the right toys for you or not.
It's not because of the friends you hang out with, you already know who you identify with.
It's has nothing to do with a lack of a certain parental figure(just like boys of a single mother can still be straight).
It's not because of how your parents raised you, you already know if what they're doing makes sense.
It has nothing to do with not being taught how to be a man or a woman, I was taught to be a man, and that surely made me grow up to be one. I still wor
I am stuck in a body I do not want. I wish to change. I hate to look in the mirror everyday seeing a shape I was forced into.
I hate:
These breasts
This flat chest
This empty air between my legs
This unnecessary stick hanging down
This too long hair no matter what I do
This hair that always seems too short
These stupid skirts I want to burn
These too baggy jeans I'm forced into
Being a female
Being a male
I want to walk down the streets and feel free.
Feel at ease.
The way I'm supposed to be.
I want to feel normal.
Is that so wrong?
So close
Closer then ever before
The words were there
Right on the tip of my tongue
So close
To telling it all to you
How much I hated my mother
And the way she treated me
So close
To letting you see
That vulnerable side of me
The one that's aching for love
So close
To opening up the door
Of my tightly closed heart
So you could see the pain there
So close
To sharing with you
How much his leaving hurt me
And why I'll never be the same
So close
To telling you the truth
About that night years ago
The truth even I've convinced myself is a lie
So close
To finally trusting someone
With the deepest parts
Of my heart and so
I let you in last night
To a part of me
I never show anyone
But little did I know
You'd wake up this morning
And not remember a thing
I saw you today
The look on your face
It said it all without words
You have no idea
Who in the world I am
Or our time together
I learned a lesson
Too bad this lesson
Has to hurt so much
I felt loved for a moment
But now I see it was all a mirage
Who could really love me after all
yes daddy, I know I've failed you...
I wrote on my arms until all you could see was black space
I spiraled into a depression caused by me, myself, and I
but daddy, you understand how much it hurts...
I couldn't keep up with the requirements I set for myself
I drowned in a river of my own blood, sweat and tears
and daddy, you never touched me...
I hit myself, coloured every inch of my body with black sharpie
I created a permanent reminder of my failures and mistakes
I promise daddy, I'll never do this again...
and daddy, I'll go back to that emotional rock again...
but daddy, I'll never ever love you the way I used to...
to make herself pure by starlight-silence, literature
Literature
to make herself pure
to make herself pure) is all
she;wants to do to be angelic
and sublime, to supersede time
&the polyphonic voices of heaven
[that no one else can hear] resound in her ears
she is a vali(um)ant (k)night-at-arms
you can tell from her battle scars
endlessly daring, look how far she's come!
hollow bones, jutting out
delicate and terrible and beautiful
she - the machine with a pure destination
is determined, and oh-so-pretty, while
hurting, and crying with
the frustration of another failure
yet,
(starving herself
I am me.
I am here.
I am now.
I am true.
I am a writer,
A lover,
A Poet
An artist.
I am a seeker,
A fighter,
A winner,
A loser.
I am a daughter,
A son,
A brother,
A sister.
I am a friend,
A shadow,
A girlfriend,
A boyfriend.
Step one: Search for an appropriate body
Bright blue eyes
(innocence of a child)
Curly blond hair
(playful and dreamy)
Step two: Prepare the body and mind
Treat her like a princess
(give her whatever she wants)
Make her feel beautiful
(give her whatever she needs)
Step three: More preparations
Stay away from her
(she needs to grow up)
Make her feel ugly
(she needs to be thin)
Result one
You created a girl
Bright blue eyes
Curly blond hair
Nicely dressed and spoiled
Skinny and unhealthy
With a broken heart
Result two
You also created
Something else
Something deep inside of you
Something dark
Something cold
You are